Episode 5

Losing Trust in your Own Judgement

Season 1 05 July 2021 33 mins

with Deborah Twelves

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Having faith in the choices you make can be difficult when your decision-making ability comes into question. My guest today is Deborah Twelves, acclaimed author of the book “Twenty Years a Stranger.” Deborah’s life was turned upside down when she discovered her husband of 20 years had been leading multiple lives with at least four different women – even fathering children with at least two of them. My conversation with Deborah explores the heart-breaking events she endured, why she began questioning her own judgement, and her journey to building self-trust again.

About this Episode

Here are some of the highlights of my conversation with Deborah

Deborah joins the podcast by discussing her marriage and how she learned of her husband’s infidelity. [2:42]

The four separate lives her husband was living are discussed. [5:43]

Deborah explains the impacts and her feelings regarding her husband’s confession. [6:42]

How Deborah’s lack of trust in herself materialized in her life is touched on. [8:14]

The impact of betrayal is discussed. [8:53]

Deborah tells the journey of how she pieced together her husbands lies. [11:21]

Moving forwards is difficult; Deborah discusses how she began to rebuild her trust in herself and move forward. [15:59]

Deborah discusses the factors that made her decide to write her book. [20:23]

The steps that Deborah took to begin feeling like herself again are explained. [22:46]

Moments of self-doubt during the writing process are touched on. [23:51]

Learning to trust again is discussed. [25:37]

Deborah tells us the biggest lesson she has learned and the advice she has for others. [27:20]

Deborah talks about her next book “Ghost of a Stranger”. [31:09]


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“I felt pathetic, I suppose, and a bit ridiculous. I was suddenly plunged into a situation where I just felt completely isolated and just a lack of trust in myself in my own judgement.” [7:48-8:04]

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“Sometimes what seems to be the worst thing in your life can actually end up leading to the best things in your life.” [19:55- 20:03]

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“Realizing that you’re actually okay on your own - I think that was a big one. I didn’t necessarily need somebody else permanently in my life, like a man or a partner, that I can do things on my own.” [26:10-26:22]

Meet Gillian, Your Host

Hosted by ICF Master Coach, Mentor, Meditation & Ayurveda Teacher, Gillian McMichael, this podcast will inspire you to unlock your true purpose and ignite your infinite potential. Now is the time to grow, flourish and thrive as you find your way home, back to your true self.

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